Biff and Cliff!!
Cross Country Secret Weapons Exposed!!!
Doug Speck - DyeStatCal Editor

News Flash!!

A deep mystery that has pearmeated the sport of cross-country during the fall part of the year during the last few seasons has been solved with the information forthcoming after a long and detailed investigation of the real facts.  With information gained and listened to from secret microphones planted in the ipod devices in the running shoes of a San Diego area prep cross-country team it appears the group was violating endangered species regulations in securing an advantage over the competition in area races.  A federal judge has determined that all team awards gathered with the unfair advantage of a team mascot shark and alligator over the last two years must be cleaned out of the school display cases and immediately tranferred to the Death Valley National Park for display in the Ranger Station there.  Reports and investigations of bite marks and rumors of opponents chased off course paths during competitions through a careful process of elimination edged towards the guilt of a north San Diego County squad, at Torrey Pines High School, in San Diego.  While the team seemed to take evasive action over the seasons, switching "beasts" from one year to the next, investigators finally closed down on the guilty group.      

Federal magistrate Fred Jones was heard to say at the court hearing, "In a sport devoid usually of personality, we salute the Torrey Pines squad for its attempt to inject some brevity and frivolity into the activity, but there is a limit.  The intimidation and real physical danger to all invoved in the activity through the use of these basically wild animals around young people is taken very seriously and will not be dealt with lightly." 

Below is adapted from a special interview with team member Megan Morgan, as she was being taken away to federal detention.   As Megan was being dragged from the court room she was heard to state, "And judge, we had a 'Killer Whale' set up for those other teams next year!!!" Megan did admit the team did have a secret team phrase they used to refer to Cliff this year (just prior to calling out their secret weapon during this Fall's races when they would become tired):  "We say that Cliff is Biff's 'brotha from anotha motha'."

Here are some facts that are the real history of Biff

In the sunner of 2005 the Torrey Pines cross country team was attending the Runner's Workshop camp at Big Bear. The girls main counselor, Kelsey from Redlands University (also one of their top runners) presented Biff, the killer shark, as the camp competition mascot at camp. From camp the girls decided to take Biff to all races, on the plane to Stanford, to Mt. Sac and on to CIF and State. It was a tough year for Biff and the girls, finishing second to La Costa Canyon at every race . . until CIF where the TP Falcons came through and won. Needless to say Biff was worn way down after that season.

At camp 2006 came the arrival of Cliff thus the story below.

I think we continue with it all to remind us of the support we get from others

Where's Biff and Who Is Cliff?

I am sure many of you are wondering where is Biff, the good luck protector mascot who helped guide the Falcon girls to the 2005 CIF title. Well, Biff was so exhausted from last year's effort that he is taking the year off. We at Torrey Pines got a postcard from Biff recently from his vacation location in the Caribbean. Biff is hanging out on Anegada Island, the northern most island of the British Virgin Islands. Anegada is a low sandy beach island surrounded by coral reefs, great place to snorkel. Long ago pirates would place lanterns out on the reef to draw ships onto the reef where they would plunder the goods and go on their merry way. Biff's last note was that he is doing fine hanging out at The Big Bamboo eatery and listening to the local steel drum band.

So when Kelsey (the girls camp counselor at Runner's Workshop and great runner at The University of Redlands) got word of Biff's departure, she knew she had to do something. On one of her summer training runs she went by the very dangerous swamps of Redlands. It was there she found Cliff, a displaced alligator from hurricane Katrina. Not having much to do Cliff was all excited at becoming the 2006 mascot and guardian of the girls team. Off to camp went Cliff where he led the girls to the "camp comps championship". So with Cliff's guidance the girls hope to surpass last years success with a state title.

And if you visit the British Virgin Islands be sure to say hello to Biff and buy him a meal. It helps to keep the local waters safe.

2007??????????