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St. Joseph (Lakewood)
Girls Cross-Country team end of season interwoven with personal tragedy
- Kirby Lee
The St. Joseph High cross country team will arrive to Woodward Park in
Fresno several hours before the Jesters compete in the CIF state Division
III final on Saturday. While the girls are stretching and relaxing, assistant
coach Jeff Dugan will quietly head off on his own to jog the course.
In his hand, Dugan will carry a small prescription bottle containing the
ashes of his son Killian, who died during the summer after a fall from
the roof of four-story apartment building in Long Beach in July.
It's a ritual that Dugan has followed throughout the season. None of the
runners will turn their heads or acknowledge that he's come or gone.
Killian, a 2002 St. John Bosco graduate who competed on the Braves' cross
country and track teams, raced on many of the courses that St. Joseph
has competed on this season. The elder Dugan has been carrying Killian's
ashes and spreading them along the course as a tribute to his son.
Saturday's state meet will be the final chapter. It was the final race
of his son's high school career. Killian ran in the 2000 state meet as
a junior, struggling to finish third from last while suffering from a
102-degree temperature.
For his father, the state meet elicits memories of his son's affinity
for running rather than the performance. Dugan has also distributed his
son's ashes to races at Mt. San Antonio College, Central Park in Huntington
Park, La Mirada Park and along running trails during St. Joseph's training
camp in Big Bear in August.
``I'll tell them I need to take care of some business,'' Dugan said about
Saturday's race. ``It's kind of a personal thing, you don't know how people
are going to react.''[ep
There was disbelief when Dugan was informed his son was in the hospital
in a coma in the early morning hours of July 12.
Killian had fallen off the roof of an apartment building less than a half
mile from the Dugan's home in the middle of the night. Police have not
determined the cause of the incident. A coroner's report indicated that
Killian, who was discovered by a passer-by at 2:30 a.m. in a planter box,
had been drinking.
Killian was proclaimed brain dead and placed on a respirator. A day later,
the decision was made to take Killian off of life support and donate his
organs.
``It was a difficult decision, the most difficult part was watching him
wheeled into the operating room to have his organs removed,'' Dugan said.
A standing room crowd of several hundred attended Killian's funeral held
at St. John Bosco where a fund has been established in his name to benefit
the Braves' cross country and track programs. On hand were St. John Bosco
classmates and teammates, friends from little league and youth soccer.
There were also members of the St. Joseph cross country team, many of
whom had gotten to known Killian personally during occasional visits to
the Jesters' practices to run with the girls.
Dugan, a produce supervisor with Vons Supermarket, drives by the site
of his son's fall on Seventh St. and Temple Ave. daily on his way to and
from work where there are often flowers placed in Killian's memory.
In Dugan's bedroom, there is a large framed collage of photos of Killian
running and with teammates. There are also photos from his youth, including
a mock-up Sports Illustrated cover of Killian batting during a little
league game.
``It's going to be hard for the rest of my life. You can't bury yourself
and hide,'' said Dugan, whose daughter Ryan is a 1999 St. Joseph graduate
who ran for the Jesters. ``Life had to go on. Being with the girls and
with cross country has helped me get through. Every day is tough. It's
especially going to be tough during the holidays.''
Killian's death wasn't discussed much this season among St. Joseph runners
until coach Jon Chaikittirattana issued a challenge the night before the
Southern Section championships last Saturday.
The ninth-year coach asked his runners to write their motivation for winning
on a large bright orange card that read ``Why do I want to win a CIF title?''
Some of the answers were ``Respect,'' ``Bling, Bling: recognition,'' ``To
prove people wrong,'' ``We've word hard and deserve it,'' and ``So my
mom will hug me.'' Chaikittirattana wrote the initials JD, Dugan's initials,
in the lower right corner as his response.
Along the course, Chaikittirattana waved the orange card to the girls
as they passed. St. Joseph supporters along the course held cards with
a large No. 5 to remind the team of their defeats to Santa Margarita.
There was even St. Joseph's mascot, a large stuffed witch wearing a St.
Joseph cross country uniform, hanging from a tree before the switchbacks,
the first of the course's three major hills for motivation. Jeff Dugan,
however, served as the biggest inspiration on Saturday.
Santa Margarita had been the section's top-ranked team all season. The
Eagles had a team time more than three minutes faster than St. Joseph
in the first cluster league meet. Santa Margarita had also beaten the
Jesters in the Roadrunner Invitational, Mt. SAC invitational, Serra League
finals and in the Southern Section preliminaries.
St. Joseph had steadily cut the time gap between the teams as the season
progressed and were only 22 seconds away from the Eagles in the preliminaries.
It was no contest on Saturday. St. Joseph ran a season-Mt. SAC best 1:36:52
by more than three minutes with Santa Margarita nearly 50 seconds behind
at 1:37:43 to win the school's first section title.
``I've coached for the girls all season,'' Chaikittirattana said. ``This
time I wanted to coach for (Jeff Dugan). I have never put the burden on
the girls before but this was for him. On of the things about Jeff is
he doesn't show it but you can always see the sadness in somebody's eyes.
Maybe we were lucky to win or the stars were aligned but I hope were able
to bring him some joy. It was a neat day.''
The girls were not aware that Dugan had been leaving his son's ashes at
their meets until Chaikittirattana told them the day before the section
finals.
`` We just wanted to help him get that closure,'' said senior Kat Dawkins,
whose father passed away while she was a child. ``All of us have lost
loved ones. It really hit home. He's been helping us and he could have
been somewhere else. We owed it to him.''[ep
Sophomore Suzy Portner was also moved by Dugan, who donated a portion
of his coaching stipend to assist with the purchase of new uniforms for
the Southern Section meet and often takes the girls out to eat after workouts.
``He's always at every practice and helping us,'' Portner said. ``I haven't
really thought about what happened in awhile. I felt really bad but it
felt good to help him and he really needs that. He could have stopped
and kept on going. We really appreciate him being there for us.''
The girls' gestures brought tears to Dugan. He said the ocean and running
were his son's greatest loves. He first left ashes in the ocean at Redondo
Beach where his son went boogie boarding daily during the summers. Dugan
also plans to take ashes on a trip to Hawaii next summer. It's a place
where Killian had always wanted to visit and hoped to attend college to
major in accounting.
After that, Dugan said his mission would be fulfilled.
``I just wanted to leave something at some of the places he's touched,''
Dugan said.
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